Here at YAYOM I will never tell you what you should do. YAYOM is no member of the guilt industry. Here’s why.
Let’s face it: guilt is a money maker. In our society, there’s a whole industry dedicated to making people feel bad about ourselves. The guilt industry is everywhere, judging everything we do: what we eat, how we spend our free time, how we raise our kids, how we make love, how we dress, what we do to become better people (whatever that may mean) and so much more.
The generous guilt industry
The guilt industry uses regular media to pass on its message. The articles or items have titles like ‘You’ve been [verb} wrong your entire life and you didn’t know it’ or ‘Why you shouldn’t [verb]’. Sometimes this is about practices that people have been doing for centuries without anyone ever having suffered harm from it.
Luckily for us the guilt industry is generous. It doesn’t just make us feel insufficient, it offers solutions too. The stores, both online and in the real world, are loaded with solutions for our wrong-being. In the digital realm, guilt industry solutions often take a particular form, like modern versions of the 10 commandments: lists.
Loads of lists
The homo digitalis looking for ways to improve himself, is overloaded with lists. In the domain of self-help (of which YAYOM is a part) these lists often hold habits of successful, happy, zen and other perfect people. While these lists can be inspiring, they are also oversimplifying and he who tries to follow all that well-meant advice runs the risk of feeling worse afterwards when things don’t turn out as hoped.
Here at yayom.com you will never find any lists for as long as I can avoid it and I’ll make it my challenge to make that forever. To me lists lost all credibility one year ago, when I clicked on a tweet which tried to seduce me with 8 things happy people do first thing in the morning and smiling or laughing wasn’t one of them. Since then I don’t read lists anymore.
But of course, as usual, YAYOM does not care about what I like or not.
Here is what YAYOM has to say about guilt:
We are free to do and be whatever we want.
Even more, we are using that freedom, no matter what we do or are. There is no such thing as a passive life.
No need for change
You are your using your freedom right now. There is no right or wrong way to use your freedom. The guilt industry may speak all it wants, but they aren’t but the wind and the waves on the ocean of life. They are not the captain on your ship, they couldn’t be if they wanted, because they do not know your destination. Only you know.
And let me repeat what I have already said elsewhere: there is no need for you to change anything about yourself.
You are perfectly fine the way you are now and so is anybody else.
YAYOM is not and never will be about change. It allows change, but it allows continuity too. The only thing YAYOM says, is: you choose, you decide.
And if at some point you decide you want to change something about yourself and you turn to the outside world for inspiration and you find one of those lists and you try it and it doesn’t work out, then it’s not necessary to put the blame on yourself as it may just as well be the list that just isn’t realistic. Instead, you can congratulate yourself for having tried and also for acknowledging that this list is not for you, at least not at this moment.
Congratulating ourselves is maybe something we could do a bit more often.
What if you find me telling you what to do? Here’s the deal: I promise that I will never ever tell you what you should do or be. If somehow I break that promise, let me know asap and I will rectify. If you want to know what happens if I break my promise several times, check out the Commando Counter Commitment that I launched yesterday.